Self-Care and Toxic Positivity

The thing about self-development and practicing an abundant law of attraction style mindset is that it’s super easy to slip into self-obsession.


“Overly concerned with one's own desires, needs, or interests,” according to Webster’s Dictionary.


It’s easy to fall into the trap of shutting out life except for your inner world. To some extent, it is helpful and crucial to focus on yourself as it’s easy to get swept up in listening to others while ignoring what you want where one day you wonder whose life it is you’re living.


Focusing too much on the outer world can be bad for you, but focusing too much on your inner world can equally cause problems.


Shutting out the ugly reality of our world as it is will not make issues magically vanish. I would do this as I was afraid of letting in the heavier energies should they make me crumble inside. 


But what I just end up doing is shutting out the world around me becoming what Abraham Hicks refers to as, “a vibrational snob.”


I use my white privilege to ignore the need to continually educate myself to become an ally and anti-racist. I ignore politics because I don’t want to get into debates. I shut loved ones out of my life because I’m afraid their energies will overpower mine. It’s easier if I can control the world around me.


This felt like strength, but is simply weakness in disguise.


I got sucked into thinking I can wish all the uncomfortable stuff away with the power of positive thinking, but there’s a fine line between positive thinking and toxic positivity (which is a topic I’m digging into lately that I think needs to be talked about more in the wellness community as a whole.


So I ask myself how I can use the various self-development tools I’ve learned to aid me along the path of doing the work that needs to be done.


I do truly believe that our main objective in life is to leave the planet in a healthier, more peaceful manner than when we were born. That with each new generation the human race evolves and evolves.


I see that if I ignore all the hard, uncomfortable, ugly parts of life and don’t try to contribute to the solutions then I’m not living up to my full potential as a human being. 


Last week I threw all my self-care practices out the window and I increasingly felt more and more drained showing up in the world until all I wanted to do is stare blankly at a wall.

 

There is space for both a mindfulness practice and contributing to the current reality that we face. And that current reality is full of fear, hate, obliviousness, and privilege. But it is also full of love, hope, empathy, and compassion.


In the end, what I feel I’ve learned most over the past week is that getting uncomfortable is essential to being part of the solution. White people like me have been able to use our privilege to ignore the everyday atrocities of racism against Black Men, Women, and Children.

 

When I think about how I can dismantle my own privilege I know that the first step I can take is to not ignore what is reality any longer.


White people are responsible for racism against Black people and we’re needed to help dismantle it. Period.


For my part, I commit to putting energy into diversifying my world to be more inclusive. With my money, my education, my reading, my social feed, my listening, and my watching. To become aware of my own deeply ingrained racist tendencies that I never knew was racist so that I may become an ally.


I see that educating myself to be anti-racist and an ally is part of my self-development work as a human being. It is not a separate thing to be dealt with another day.

 

So while I don't know exactly what that looks like yet, I do know that I plan on including my anti-racist work here. To contribute my voice to shift our world forward.


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